Aggies fans. Unfortunately, everybody knows one.
And if you were around for the Southwest Conference days, then you also possess more jokes about Aggies fans than Jim Gaffigan does about bacon. No pun intended.
Have you heard this one?
Three Aggies fans go in to see a fortune teller. The first one asks, “How will Arkansas’s defense play against Texas A&M this Saturday?”
Madam Craft looks into her crystal ball and replies, “A unit that at first seemed strong, fell of off of its path when facing the mountain goat, however, they have slowly begun discovering themselves and their potential again. The Aggie offensive line will have a good push up front, and this will lead the defense to have a ‘bend but don’t break mentality.’
“A man they call ‘Chief’ will need pure focus and a secondary which can better defend the run and the pass.”
The second Aggie doesn’t quite breathe a sigh of relief, but does get hopeful when asking, “What about Arkansas’s offense? How might they fare against our blessed Aggies?”
The lady at the table again waves her hands over her magical aide, glares into it, and states, “What you are hoping for is that young Ty Storey will not be able to perform in Big City. Yet if his offensive line can give him even the slightest extra second to permit him to find open receivers, then the Hogs may be able to hang around making this game close. I see a little Rakeem Boyd in your past but a lot in your future.” “Also, your precious Aggies are coached by Jimbo Fisher, so they are far from blessed.”
“Madam Craft,” the third Aggie asks, “will the special teams for Arkansas hurt our team’s chances for winning?”
The lady looks into the future and does nothing but laugh hysterically.
Finally, the trio requests one last piece of advice from the psychic, “Can you tell us who will win this game Saturday?”
One final time Madam Craft considers her crystal ball, and notes, “What the Razorbacks fans are seeking is a turning of a page with its first meaningful victory of this season. While many have witnessed improvement, there are still many flaws which must be ironed out for this program, along with a focus to build upon successes made last week. However, the growth they saw against the Tiger will continue, but it will not be enough. Texas A&M over Arkansas, 31–24.“
The men forget to thank her and turn to leave. In her rage, Madam Craft casts a spell upon them so they may some day have John L. Smith as a head coach as she screams out “Go HOGS!!!”
Lamest joke ever.
One closing prose: a man that once wore 61 will be hoping for a young man whom now wears a 9 upon his back to make a strong arrival into Jerry World. Will this happen?
Today, we do not need Madam Crafts SEC projections – you have me to rely upon instead.
• Louisiana at (1) Alabama – Tide by 42
• Tennessee at (2) George – Bulldogs by 18
• Southern Missiissippi at (10) Auburn – Tigers by 30
• Tennessee State at Vanderbilt – Commodores by 21
• Florida at (23) Mississippi State – Bulldogs by 3
• South Carolina at (17) Kentucky – Wildcats by 12
• Ole Miss at (5) LSU – Tigers by 24
Follow me on ‘Twitter:’ @PeterMorganWPS
